People say I’m just shy or introverted, but I think I might have social anxiety disorder. How do I know the difference?
This is a great question that comes up all the time! Shyness and introversion are traits that many people have. Sometimes they can go together with social anxiety, and sometimes they get confused with social anxiety. Shyness is a tendency to be more reserved around new people or new situations, and sometimes people who are shy need a little time to adjust or “warm up” in these situations. After a while, shyness feels less intense and the person feels more at ease. Introversion is a personality trait that can be identified by how we expend or grow social energy. Introverts often feel tired after spending time with other people, especially in large groups or with people they are not as familiar with, and recharge energy by spending time alone. This doesn’t mean that introverts don’t like people, it just means that they need time alone to reset.
Shyness and introversion have a lot to do with how individuals respond to social situations, so it makes sense that people might mistake them for social anxiety disorder. There are a few ways to tell social anxiety disorder apart from these two traits. The first is an intense fear of judgment from others. People with social anxiety feel really worried about how other people will view them. They might be afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, and sometimes this fear causes them to freeze or makes their mind go completely blank. Sometimes the person can “push through” the social event, but they start second-guessing themselves once they have a moment alone afterward.
Another way of identifying problematic social anxiety is use of avoidance that interferes with doing things that you want or need to do. Are you regularly putting off important phone calls at work and are facing consequences because of that? Are you really wanting to make new friends or start dating, but the thought of talking to new people terrifies you and keeps you from trying? When you’re noticing that worries about social judgement start impacting your behaviors, this is a sign that you’re dealing with something that’s more than shyness or introversion.
Shyness and introversion are traits that we may embrace, or, if we dislike them, we can take some steps to change them to some degree. Similarly, social anxiety disorder is something changeable as well. Social anxiety disorder is very treatable with behavioral therapy, and many, many people have overcome social anxiety disorder so that they don’t meet criteria anymore. As a therapist, I have been honored to work with people who have made new friends, spoken out more in classes, set healthy boundaries, and tried new hobbies.
Once in a while, I meet with clients with social anxiety who say “I know it doesn’t really matter what people think, but I’m still really nervous when I work toward my goals. Why can’t I convince myself that I can do what I want no matter what other people think??” In my next post, I’ll cover the myth of emotional control.
Ideal Self Therapy, LLC 